'The Doctor - asexual? Get real, I don't care what the fans - sick little anoraks - want to believe,
but I'm a shag magnet.'
'I'm feeling strangely horny.'
Richard E Can't
'What, these are spoofs?
I just thought the series had gone down hill.'
Richard E still can't
'Yeah well EWEN, you don't have your own brigade now
do you luvvie?'
'People say that Paul McGann is very private person and is terribly camera shy. And that is why we
have so much trouble getting him to pose for Big Finish publicity photos. Well let me just say that is total nonsense. Paul
is just an uncooperative pratt.'
Jason Ellery Queen
'Sex, orgies, unlimited sandwiches on the refreshment trolley. It wasn't like that in my day - damn
'Some called it an exploration of the intricate relationship between the Doctor and Charley that
brought tears to their eyes. Others called it total toss. And that was just Paul and India. God knows what the fans will think.'
Rob "Sheer Brilliance" Shearman
'We could just pretend we were drunk when we wrote it?'
'And that the cast were actually dead when they recorded it!'
'We are geniuses.'
'Actually Jon was dead at the time.'
'Absolutely no one mention Huxley or Orwell and we may just get away with it.'
'I like to record all of my audios wearing an eyepatch. Why? Well I'm just a bit kinky. I also like
to go shopping wearing women's underwear.'
EMPIRE OF THE DALEKS XVII
(THE ONE WHERE THEY TRY TO TAKE OVER SOME PLANET - AGAIN AND SHOUT A LOT ABOUT HOW THEY
ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER SOME PLANET AND JUST DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO STOP THEM)
Written by Nick Briggs
Directed by Nick Briggs
Starring: Nick Briggs
Sound Designer: Nick Briggs
Dalek Emperor: Nick Briggs
Every other Dalek: Nick Briggs
Every other character: Nick Briggs
Richard E never could
'By Rassilon, she's a hot little filly'
The Doctor on seeing Charley
'I'm the only Time Lord in this universe'
Richard E Grant eats babies
'Personally I thought that Scream of the Shalka really did counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying
Idiot Doctor Who fan
'Audio is the perfect medium for when the actors get old and fat and can't remember their lines.
We just wait for all the appearences on The Bill to dry up and then they will do it for a fiver and a scotch finger biscuit.'
The real reason Christopher Eccleston left: Richard E Grant!
Sometimes I regret not playing the Doctor longer. But then again sometimes I regret not shoving that
piece of celery up John Nathan Turner's arse.
This is apparently the youth of today's Australia. A right dodgy looking bunch if you ask me.